In Darkness There is Light

This is not only a tagline for the kind of fiction I write, it is a tagline for my life. When my husband was laid off and went almost a year without work, there was light. When my son became so ill he stopped breathing and had to be lifeflighted to Portland, there was light. When a lump the size of a golf ball was found in my breast, there was light.

It wasn’t a blazing light; it wasn’t a burst of sunshine. The darkness that filled my life during those times felt so overbearing that I felt I would be crushed beneath it. Save for that light. A single, solitary light, like the flicker of a flame above a small candle.

That light in my life was Jesus.

Perhaps it took such dark circumstances for me to see Him. It can be hard to see a candle in broad daylight. Perhaps it took turning everything dark around me for me to finally see Him, much like a candle in a dark room has a way of grabbing our eye.

But I finally saw the one who in His word says I am the Light of the World. Jesus became more to me than just a quick five-minute devotion time or a prayer thrown up in haste before I went out the door. He became more than dressing up in my best for Sunday or begrudgingly giving time to watch kids in Sunday school.

He became real. And so did I.

Those first few nights after my husband was laid off, I finally told God how I felt. I was real with Him. I told Him I was scared, angry, alone. And when my son stopped breathing in my arms, I screamed to God I needed a miracle. And when faced with the possibility of cancer not once but twice in my life, I realized how limited life is and nothing but people can leave this world with me.

During the darkest times in my life, I finally saw Jesus as more than an icon for a religion or a distant Sunday school story. The knowledge of Him I carried around in my head for years finally sunk down into my heart. Now I can say I finally know God, or at least on the path to knowing Him more fully.

There is a lot of darkness out there. But in darkness there is light. And His name is Jesus Christ.

 

4 Responses to In Darkness There is Light

  1. Aaron DeMott October 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    Thanks, needed that right now.

    • Morgan L. Busse October 17, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

      Aaron, I’m glad my story was able to encourage you 🙂

  2. Ralene B October 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm #

    As you know, Morgan, I’ve been under a lot of stress lately with my husband out of work and all the stuff that goes along with that. I keep telling myself that God is in control, but sometimes it’s still hard. Thank you for your post and the reminder that the light is still there. 🙂

    • Morgan L. Busse October 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

      Hey Ralene!
      I wrote that post 2 years ago. Since then, my husband was let go from another church. Last year was the darkest time of my life. I didn’t know who to trust anymore, and was so hurt, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to go back to a church.

      Thankfully, God didn’t give up on me. He sent an amazing couple into my family’s life. They cared for us, prayed for us, and even helped us out financially. We always had food on the table and clothing to wear. And eventually, I found my way again.

      That is why I share my life, because I know there are people out there who are going through what I have. There is hope, because there is Jesus. Does everything turn out all right? No. Does life go on? Yes. Can you still find joy? Yes. Even when you hurt, broken, and scared.

      I will be praying for you, and if I can do anything more, let me know 🙂

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